P&C’s feminine set, humble blogger and MackD, got out to check out one of the, hands down, greatest gigs of 2010. Amidst a sea of the most fashionably dressed and their fabulously frenetic dancing, its quite possibly the most epic Tuesday night–or Friday night for that matter–anyone could ever have. With gin and tonics a-flowin’, MackD took mental notes as Robyn and Kelis made the crowd…welp, mental. Her review is as follows…

If you missed last night’s House of Blues stop on the Robyn and Kelis “All Hearts” tour, you missed the best dance party in Boston.

Against the backdrop of a two-story, anatomically-accurate heart diagram, Kelis strutted on stage in a skintight metallic bodysuit and glittering Cleopatra wig, prompting one fan to shout “fuck Nas!” — a sentiment with which we all heartily agreed.

“All Hearts” means all love, she explained, but also strength and hope.  With a grin, she warned the crowd that she doesn’t rehearse before launching into an infectious medley of favorites, including “I Got Your Money,” “Sweet Dreams,” “Bossy,” “Millionaire,” and “I Hate You So Much Right Now.”  The crowning moment was a sing-along of her 2003 hit “Milkshake” set to Madonna’s “Holiday,” which whipped the HoB into a sweaty, joyful dervish of dancing.  She also treated us to her latest single, “Acapella.”

After a slightly-too-long wait between sets, while the euphoric Kelis aftershock was still rippling through the crowd (as well as those gin and tonics coursing through my bloodstream), the stage went dark and Robyn swooped in, instantly pushing the energy level toward 11 and keeping it there.

She (and her awesome band) absolutely killed it on every single song, from “Fembot” and “Konichiwa Bitches” to “Dancehall Queen” and “Don’t Fucking Tell Me What to Do,” barely pausing to strip off layers, put on a beret, and, at one point, eat a banana.

A fellow gig-goer was overheard proclaiming, “you guys, ‘Dancing On My Own’ is my jam!” and, buddy, it was everyone’s jam last night.

If your favorite Swedish import had been IKEA or Swedenborgianism, you need to see Robyn live.  Her performance can only be described as “amazeballs.”  She capped the orgasmic set with a stripped-down version of “Show Me Love,” followed by “With Every Heartbeat,” causing spontaneous combustion throughout the exuberant crowd.

The “All Hearts” tour is nothing less than a spiritual dance experience. And you, too, can see what P&C means. Check out the absolutely anthemic “Dancing on My Own” live from the gig (ignore the at times dodgy sound), as well as what is was like to be a gig-goer on the night.

Consider our minds blown.

Editor’s note: Um, humble blogger has never done the knee-bone thigh-bone leg-bone so vehemently; as a result, its quite possible my actual hip-bone popped out and back in sometime during “Fembot”. Whilst I don’t believe I’ll need any robotic parts in place of femur today, I can hereby declare I’d pop my hip out anytime for Robyn and Kelis–and would most likely pop it out again if I tried to squeeze into that downright phenomenally fierce cat suit Kelis sported. Oh, and drummer in the B’s cap and 1-piece white jumper, ring me? Bring the cat suit, leave the jumper.