You may or may not have noticed the long silences that have inhabited this space off and on over the last two years. The more likely answer is you haven’t and most of that has to do with two things: when someone doesn’t invest time, you don’t invest interest, and when things are shifting and changing, so too, do the expectations of a space.
When I humbly started this back in 2006, it was a pet project designed to share the music I loved and could not stop spinning for a core group of my friends who were constantly asking me: “What are you listening to right now?”
That quickly morphed into a community that had views from folks other than friends and built space around a shared music blogosphere–I met so many people, engaged with so many like-minded and musically obsessed, and even received tickets to all the shows I wanted to review, free music in the mail, other writers and reviewers in this space, a podcast, and access to music in ways I had never anticipated nor expected.
And then, in 2008, this pet project of mine was immediately shut down in a messy crisis of posting content online and all that work I’d done, for years, poof, was gone in an instant. I found out on a sidewalk in Greenwich Village with a friend; we were rendezvousing in New York for the weekend, checking out Hot Chip at Terminal 5 and Elvis Perkins in Dearland somewhere in Brooklyn. We both came from different states to be together and in that moment, I truly believed I wouldn’t bring this space back.
It felt final, but not necessarily devastating. Just reality.
But, it lived again, the following winter, and I soldiered on, bitterly angry about losing years of work and figuring this time, I’d back everything up (note: I still haven’t). In June of that year, I told another burgeoning site which asked me to create a Mixtape for them as part of a series, the following about Pulp and Circumstance:
“I’ve always loved Pulp. The band, the unprocessed paper, the serial novels, and most importantly, the fruity bits in your cup o’ juice in the morning (yes, I’m that freak that likes extra extra bits of that fruity delight coursing through the teeth as the ice cold beverage washes down throat). That being said, at Pulp and Circumstance, Juiced!, we are all about “juicing that musical pulp for you”…”one strain at a time.” Whether it be the latest tunes from former Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker or the newest details on that brand new record The Apples in Stereo are currently recording up this year. So be sure to come digest some of our musical fruit…we can’t give you it “Pulp” free, but we can provide toothpicks to remove the bits out your teeth later…”
I still believe all of those things.
Still, eventually something shifted. Not only did the landscape of the music blogosphere change, how and when music was shared and digested rapidly supported streaming and personal, curated playlists from anywhere, any time. And as my listening behaviors also shifted, so too, did this space.
I could have written this note eons ago. I could have also shared I went through a lot of personal life changes and job constraints that kept me away from this space. I could have shared a million excuses. Instead, I let this space sit. And sit. And sit some more. A few times a year I’d post a new podcast–that seemed like the only way I felt empowered to share my lists, my rinse repeats, and again, it shifted to me sharing those… with friends.
I write this now, as I decide to post a flurry of short bits on what I’m listening to right now, not because I ever stopped listening, but because at some point, I stopped sharing what I was listening to. I became insular and enjoyed. I didn’t feel this urge to let the ether know.
And at the same time, I can’t really quit this space. Believe me, I wrote you one of these “notes” back in 2011 that says much of what I’m saying now. I’ve thought about closing it down. Or leaving it to the dusty “shelves” of the internet–a blip in time. And yet, something keeps pulling me back.
I’m not clear on the path forward. I do know I go to more live gigs than I ever have before… most often, 1-3 a week. The love for music is stronger than ever but for some reason, my world of sharing is just, smaller, shifted.
But I love the p&c podcast. And I am going to try to put in better effort there monthly. At least so my friends, once again, can enjoy what I’m enjoying, too.
And if I fail? Well, Zanimal is super prolific. And we live together. And dance together. And gig together. So if you ever want to know where I am… I‘m lost in his mixes. And you should be, too.